A Christmas Diamond
by ScribeAnimal
Summary: Season 7 – What if Mac and Sturgis had that conversation earlier in the year? Where could Harm & Mac's relationship have gone?


"A Holiday Diamond"

Author: Haruo Chikamori

E-mail: hhchikamori

Rating: M

Classification:

Spoilers: JAG "Capital Crime" – altered timeline

Summary: Season 7 – What if Mac and Sturgis had that conversation earlier in the year? Where could Harm & Mac's relationship have gone? A little Christmas story for the Harm/Mac fans that I started out this genre of fanfic with. You women are better at this "writing romance" thing than I am… Sorry to all my Harm/Other fanfic author friends (this is going to be hard to stomach) – this is the genre I started out in. Harm/Mac fan-fiction. Merry Christmas!

DISCLAIMER: The characters Harm Rabb, Jr., Sarah "Mac" Mackenzie, Meg Austin, AJ Chegwidden, Bud Roberts, Harriet Sims-Roberts et al. belong (in concept if not name) to CBS/Bellisarius. Animal and all OC characters are the property of Heather and Hugo Chikamori. No profit is being made from this story, nor is any infringement intended.

_**Mac's Apartment**_

_**Georgetown, VA**_

_**December, 2001**_

Soft carols played in the background, as Mac curled up on the sofa, a throw in her lap; the snow falling outside the window of her apartment. The festive decorations in her apartment formed a distinct counterpoint to her mood at this point. Her thoughts ran laps through her head as she pondered just what she had let slip prior to JAG's little competitive marathon earlier in the year. Sturgis had cornered her in the office prior to the run and she had admitted that she "loved" Harm – then sworn Sturgis to secrecy on pain of severe bodily injury – not because she was embarrassed to love Harm, but unsure of how to handle those feelings within her. She still wasn't sure that she could handle them.

Reconciliation with Harm had happened at the charity marathon – she still didn't know what had caused the rift between them other than the fact that "he simply hadn't been there for her…" She had gone to him and he had rejected her in favor of the Video Princess…she felt betrayed and she resented him for it. It was yet another black mark on their relationship. That's why she had to escape to the Guadalcanal in order to gather her thoughts. She had pinned him on the spot and levelled a verbal attack on him as if he were the enemy: _I am so sick of this dance…What would you give up to have me? You're talking about this now because you're feeling guilty about not doing it then? There is no us – there's you and Renee – _The thoughts tumbled over themselves in a cascade. What had provoked her to say those things to him? The only conclusion that she could come to in retrospect of the situation was that she was seething in self-righteous anger and she wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt her.

And then the conversation with Sturgis – she shook her head as she recollected the incident in her office that one day just prior to the marathon. What the hell had caused her to make a statement of _I never slept with him_ to Commander Turner of all people. And he had returned. "_Is that the problem?_" that pretty much left her slack-jawed and not sure if she should feel offended or fumblingly admitting the truth – that she wanted Harm in that way. She had settled for giving Turner a highly offended sounding "_There is no problem!_" and a glare. He had turned around and stated over his shoulder as Mac had gotten out of her seat, walking past her filing cabinets. "_Well, Why don't you just get over it and move on?_".

"_It wouldn't work…_" she had returned shutting her door, not wanting the entire bullpen to over-hear any of the highly personal, unprofessional conversation. "_Why?_" Sturgis had wanted to know. "_Because I'm in love with him._" She couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth. There was a long silence as Sturgis had digested this bit of information. After a long moment she had turned around and with astonished wonder if not a bit of horror in her voice had stated, not believing that she had just spilled her feelings. "_Did I say that?_" not sure if she wanted to hear the answer to that question. Sturgis, to his credit, didn't say anything other than let out a sigh; holding his right index finger to his mouth as if to silence any questions or affirmations to that direction. They both knew just what such an admission could potentially do to an officer's career. She had walked over to sit in the chair beside him. "_You have to keep that to yourself._" She had asked, her eyes silently pleading with him to agree with her. After a long moment, Sturgis had acquiesced. "_I mean it, Sturgis_." She had stated, iron starting to color her voice – it would mean death for both Harm's and her careers and she had come too far to jeopardize their careers. "_So do I…_"Sturgis had said, further proving to her, that Sturgis was for all intents and purposes Harm's friend. He wouldn't ever betray that.

The admission by Harm at the marathon that he was afraid to mention anything about Renee and Harm's relationship breaking up: "_Why didn't you tell me about Renee?_"…she had asked between gasps of breath after running that marathon. "_It occurred too late for it to really mean anything._" Infuriating, and men said women talk in code. "_In English, please?_" Mac had asked pointedly. "_I couldn't_" he had said barely getting the two words out between trying to catch his breath. Women were much better at reading between the lines…Renee had dumped Harm and now Mac was sure of it. _"She broke up with you, didn't she?_" Mac's eyes pinned him with her gaze. "_It's been over for a while…_" he admitted. "_I'm sorry..._" Mac had said, not sure if she was expressing sympathy for the loss of Harm's relationship with Renee, or whether she was apologizing for putting him through emotional hell these past months. "_So am I_" Harm had replied – unsure himself of what he was apologizing for and for men it wasn't easy to come to terms with what had transpired. "_I'm sorry, I…I couldn't…tell you..._" Harm said, bent over from still trying to catch his breath. "_You afraid you'd look foolish?_" Mac had asked. Harm had straightened up – misery etched in his face at having to admit that along with the pain from the physical exertion of the marathon. "_maybe…I don't know…_" Mac looked pained. "_I don't know why we couldn't work things out between us, Harm._" He had looked at her. "So where does that leave us?" She continued wanting to cry as he uttered the next words that almost shattered her soul – was he giving up… "_I don't know, Mac…at the end I guess…_" She couldn't hear that. She had to at least make some sort of attempt to salvage their relationship – after what she had told Sturgis, she wasn't about go down without fighting. "How…about…back at the beginning?" He had looked at her with a measured gaze, then a slow smile lit up his face returning Mac's tentative one.

Then that day at the office where he had cornered her in the break room. "_Mac…I can't do the friend thing with you any more…_" His gaze had pinned her to the wall. There was raw emotion and pain in that statement he had thrown out there. That had almost crushed her. "_Why?_" she had asked, her heart almost breaking with the pain of Harm's statement…but then he had continued. "_Mac. I want more than that…I can't be satisfied with a friendship any longer. We've been together for almost six years._" Hope had blossomed inside her. Could this be that long-for awaited admission that he loved her in return for all those unrequited years of being unable to answer that question herself? "_What are you saying, Harm._" He shut the door to the break-room…and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "_I'm finally admitting what I needed to say all along. You mean the world to me, Sarah Mackenzie._" Mac looked at him incredulously. Three little words was all he needed to say…and the whole damned world could go to hell in a handbasket and she'd still be the happiest girl in the world. _"I…am admitting…I'm in love with you…Mac…_" Her heart had jumped into her throat. "_You bastard…_" she had said affixing him with a glare. He had stepped back, hurt at her response to his admission, he almost turned to go, when she had grabbed him by the arm and stopped him. "_You have to admit that to me in a place where I can't reciprocate…or I'd haul you down and kiss you senseless, you infuriating flyboy!_" She tried to infuse every bit of love that she could in her gaze locking on his eyes so that hard-headed irritating flyboy of hers wouldn't misinterpret anything. "_I love you too…I think I always have…_" Mac admitted to him hoping beyond hope that he would remove that panicked deer in the headlights look from his face. Slowly his eyes first lost the look of destroyed hope that had implanted itself in there then the smile she loved crawled up along his lips deepening into an overjoyed smile. "_Hold on a moment there, flyboy…we're on a military installation…you are going to have to wait for the PDAs._" She had told him and was about to say something more when the doorknob turned and the door opened.

/_Flashback_

_Just then the door to the breakroom opened to admit a very perturbed Navy SEAL flag officer. "Mr. Rabb…Colonel Mackenzie. Can anyone tell me why the break-room door was closed? People do have to get in here to get a cup of coffee or their lunch! And why are you two not in your offices working?!" _

"_Sir…we needed to have a private conversation…" Harm began. _

"_Well, I damned sure hope it was in regards to the case you're working on and I hope that it was fruitful." AJ growled sarcastically. The two of them looked at each other like kids caught with their hand in a cookie jar. "…and Colonel Mackenzie, you can let go of his hand now." A furious blush colored both sets of cheeks, LCol Sarah Mackenzie quickly dropped Commander Harmon Rabb Jr.'s hand as if burned and a hard sidestep away from each other in opposite directions betrayed their intimacy to RADM AJ Chegwidden, United States Navy Judge Advocate General. Their horrified looks deepened as AJ scowled at them. "You do realize that I could write you up for that PDA." He glowered menacingly. "Consider this a warning. I don't care what you two do outside of the office, but should I catch you with another PDA today, I will assign you, Mr. Rabb to Adak, Alaska and Colonel Mackenzie, I'll assign you to penguin-counting duty in McMurdo! Do you two understand me?_"

"_Sir! Yes sir!" They chorused like Academy plebes. _

_The admiral moved to the counter and slowly poured his coffee…then turned around and pointedly looked at them. "Why are you still here? Don't you have cases to go over?" _

"_Aye aye sir!" Harm barked out. _

"_Yes sir!" chimed in Mac as the both of them chose discretion over __valor__ and decided they'd better make themselves scarce. AJ restrained himself from laughing out loud when he saw how fast their backsides exited the break room. _

_Walking back through the bullpen, noticing both their doors were still open and their heads were down studiously studying their case folders in their individual offices; AJ uttered a rather loud "It's about GODDAMNED time!" The double-entendre didn't pass un-noticed between a certain Marine Corps Lieutenant Colonel and a certain Navy JAG formerly aviator Commander and AJ paused restraining himself from laughter as he saw a crimson blush form on the foreheads of both of them. He continued on his way back to his office. _

_End Flashback/_

The door opened to her apartment as he shook off the snow from his jacket in the hallway. "It's snowing like crazy out there, Mac." He said as he stepped into her apartment holding two bags of groceries.

Mac wrapped her arms around his neck and drew his face down for a passionate kiss. "So glad you made it here safely." She whispered to him. Looking down at the bags he held, she inquired. "So…you brought over dinner?"

"I'm going to make dinner." He answered giving her a loving grin.

"Oh…that's great…" she said. "What do you have in mind."

"My surprise, Ninja girl." He raised an eyebrow at her.

She looked at him with a smug grin. "Well then that means I can sit down and relax…since it's supposed to be a surprise." She paused for a moment and then asked him "So…when's your new assignment?"

"I'm supposed to be reporting to NAS Oceana in about a week." He said as he bustled around putting the ingredients on the kitchen counter. "Turns out my new CO, he's a RADM himself and is my former instructor in the Reserve Air Group that I went through prior to qualifying for blue-water ops with the F-14 Tomcat." AJ had pulled strings to make sure that he got the position since he was no longer supposed to be in his girlfriend's chain of command. The night of the admission that he loved her, he had told her that he had been doing a lot of soul-searching and he had finally realized just how close to losing her he had come from the emotional games that they had pulled on each other – the simple fact that they could admit to each other for so long how they felt about each other. But now it felt as though they had turned a corner – turned over a new leaf and the hopes that they had for their relationship were now framed in the context of a definite possibility. Though it would take some getting used to in terms of her significant other not being there in the JAG office with her every single day now, he would be there with her at her apartment every single night and that's what made separation between them during the day tolerable.

"Mac," he grinned at her. "Have you thought about what we're going to do with our future?"

"All I know right now is that I'm enjoying every moment that I have with you." Mac said as she kissed him thoroughly on the lips.

"Well, Mac, I want more than that…" he said "I think I stated that clearly that afternoon in the breakroom."

"And it was lucky that the admiral didn't bust us. When he called us into his office later on that afternoon, I thought we were toast." Mac said.

"Yeah, he chewed us out pretty good in the break room if I recall." His eyes twinkled in merriment. As dinner was prepped and served, they conversed as to what they might do in terms of taking their relationship to a whole new level. "Mac, I want us…I don't ever want to lose you."

"You won't. I know what you want when it comes to our relationship. I'm secure in the fact that you love me." Mac opined.

"Do you know what it is that I want?" he grinned. That grin, she had seen it for over 6 years and it was as devastating to her equilibrium as it was back when it was unleashed on her in the Rose Garden.

"Oh stop it with the verbal jousting." Mac raised an eyebrow. "I know you want us to be together for as long as _we both shall live._" She countered. Their dinner left forgotten as Harm left his seat.

"I know I should have left this for Christmas" Christmas was still technically two weeks away… "but right now, I don't care if it's early." Her statement of "_as long as we both shall live_" had really opened up the door for this. He got down on one knee and said as he pulled out of his trouser pocket a little box that he held in the palm of his hand. "In 1999 we made a promise to each other that we would go halves on a kid. Back then I was kidding myself that I was going to fall in love with you. We had only known each other two years back then and I was making a baby-deal." He paused. "But somehow, you, Sarah Mackenzie…you've had my back for many years, you came with me to find my father and you became an integral part of my life and now…" he extended a hand out to take hers. "I want to take that step with you and have you a part of my life for the rest of our lives." He opened the box to reveal its contents to her. Nestled in the velvet was a ring that looked as though it was encrusted with diamonds and Mac's jaw dropped open. "Marry me, Sarah."

A slow tear dropped from Mac's eyes as she whispered "…yes...yes…I will!" as she enfolded him with an embrace. "Oh…Harm, it's beautiful." She said as Harm slipped the ring on her finger on the left hand. She enfolded him into her arms as they both hungrily kissed each other. It was an embrace that became a lot more as to where they ended up – the rest of the dinner was left forgotten.

…but Sarah "Mac" Mackenzie knew that this Christmas this year would be the best she ever had. The early Christmas present was life-changing. And Harriet was going to go into orbit when she saw the ring on Monday.


End file.
